jayparkinsonmd:

Please read all of this, especially if you’re a parent.

How To Land Your Kid in Therapy:

MY FIRST SEVERAL patients were what you might call textbook. As they shared their histories, I had no trouble making connections between their grievances and their upbringings. But soon I met a patient I’ll call Lizzie. Imagine a bright, attractive 20-something woman with strong friendships, a close family, and a deep sense of emptiness. She had come in, she told me, because she was “just not happy.” And what was so upsetting, she continued, was that she felt she had nothing to be unhappy about. She reported that she had “awesome” parents, two fabulous siblings, supportive friends, an excellent education, a cool job, good health, and a nice apartment. She had no family history of depression or anxiety. So why did she have trouble sleeping at night? Why was she so indecisive, afraid of making a mistake, unable to trust her instincts and stick to her choices? Why did she feel “less amazing” than her parents had always told her she was? Why did she feel “like there’s this hole inside” her? Why did she describe herself as feeling “adrift”?

I was stumped. Where was the distracted father? The critical mother? Where were the abandoning, devaluing, or chaotic caregivers in her life?

As I tried to make sense of this, something surprising began happening: I started getting more patients like her. Sitting on my couch were other adults in their 20s or early 30s who reported that they, too, suffered from depression and anxiety, had difficulty choosing or committing to a satisfying career path, struggled with relationships, and just generally felt a sense of emptiness or lack of purpose—yet they had little to quibble with about Mom or Dad.

Instead, these patients talked about how much they “adored” their parents. Many called their parents their “best friends in the whole world,” and they’d say things like “My parents are always there for me.” Sometimes these same parents would even be funding their psychotherapy (not to mention their rent and car insurance), which left my patients feeling both guilty and utterly confused. After all, their biggest complaint was that they had nothing to complain about!

Portrait by me

For most of us, the loss of health benefits can be very stressful.  Learning how to buy health insurance is complicated and time consuming.  But millions of people have done it, and you will too. 

Where To Start

There are two main options for buying insurance.  Either you can go through a local agent, or you can go through an online website.  Both have their advantages.  If, and its a big if, you can find a good quality agent, they can take the time to listen to your needs and supply you with the right plan.   A quality website will provide you with loads of information and different quotes you can sort.   A good website will also provide customer service over the phone to answer any questions you may have.   Either way, continue what you’re doing now.  The internet is full of good resources, like this guide on how to purchase health insurance.

The Type Of Plan

There are two basic financial parts of any plan.  The first is the amount you pay now, in the form of a monthly premium, no matter what.   The second is the amount you pay later for health care used and billed through your insurance.  This comes in the form of co-pay, coinsurance and deductibles.   The more you pay now, the less you pay later and vice versa.   If you consume a lot of health care you may want a high premium plan.  If not, you can save money every month with a low premium plan.  But if you do so, make sure you save enough to cover your deductible.

Your Doctor

Many people have a primary physician or a specialist they would like to continue to see.  However health insurance providers reduce costs by limiting the amount of physicians you can see.  If a certain doctor is important to you, then call their office and see what plans they accept.

Nothing Is Permanent

It is actually easier to change your health insurance plan then it is to change your cell phone plan.  There are no multi-year contracts.  You can cancel it at anytime you wish.  So you don’t have to worry that you are making the perfect decision the first time.  However keep in mind that if you do develop a medical condition, providers may reject your application due to the pre-existing condition.  If this is reality you are facing, look into your state’s high risk pool.  Often these are the cheapest, and sometimes the only, way to get health insurance with a pre-existing condition.